THESE PAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN THE DUMBEST OF MY LIFE.
I have ALLOWED you to use and hurt me.
Even though my friends warned of me what you were doing, I persisted to allow you to do whatever you pleased.

Now I’m not going to sit here and blame the whole thing on you, because we all know that I’m also to blame in this situation. I should have been smarter than to think you wanted to get back with me. The way that you were “sweet” were just your monthly nice moods. We both knew that you were going to go back to your old ways within the next 2-3 days. I would cherish those moments that you were sweet because they reminded me of a happier time.

WHY DID I ALLOW MYSELF TO SIT THERE AND BE TORN.
I wanted so badly what could never be that I would force myself to get whatever you dished out to me. I wanted to be what we once were. I wanted the most illogical things. I wanted more than I could ask for. I just wanted to slow down and go back.

I feel like am trash.

“Tell me once again that you’ll love me till the death and if I should die you swear that you will come for me.”

I won’t forget the plans we made, the promises we had, or the time we spent together.
I’ll never leave your side. I’m here. Always, all ways. 

“Meant to be together, meant for no one but each other. You “love” me, but I love you harder.”

Hey you.

I saw you today. Ha. It was kinda cool. You showed me your apron or whatever. I know that we rarely talk or whatever when we are at school, or ever really. I usually see you every single day. I even have a lunch with you. Sometimes I just wish it was like it used to be. Best friends. Remember? I don’t want all the lovey stuff back, per-say, but talking to you about everything. Not getting one word replies. Not having to think of something that will catch your attention and make you want to talk to me. 

I miss you Mister.

Just you.

I know that things get all confusing when couples break up for the first couple months. Things are different with us, you know? But I guess I shouldn’t use that as an excuse to want you to talk to me.

Gah.

It’s always awkward with us. We don’t know what to say. I still try to “impress” you, but you just end up walking away.

I don’t want to see you go.

I want to be with you again your friend again.

That will never happen.

Everyone gets a chance.

I had it, and it didn’t work.

Why the FUCK can’t I just go on.

Why the FUCK do you do this to me.

I want to know how you feel.

I can’t read minds.

Love,
me. 

“I could follow you to the beginning just to relive the start. And maybe then we’ll remember to slow down at all of our favourite parts.”

• You would sing to me. Every single night.
• When I would fall asleep on you, your chuckles would wake me up.
• You made this face when you pursed your lips together.
• We spent an hour in dollar general saying what kinda food we liked.
• You would always plan then next time we would hang and get excited.
• I will never look at Grady T. Wallace park the same way.
• The way you wanted me to sing, but I always got too shy.
• How I always thought of you when I heard certain songs.
• When my brother would call you a Jonas Brother because you pole vaulted.
• How I always tried to make you stay longer by not kissing you, but then you would just grab me and pull me close.
• How you knew when I was upset from a simple text message.
• When you would be Kyle on the phone at 5 in the morning even though you said no 930429043 times.
• How excited we would get to see each other.
• When I told you my deepest secrets, you would listen. 
• How you told me that you loved me.
• Just the way you smiled.
• Your voice when it would crack.
• How you just had to pick me up to prove you could.
• Even when I told you that you upset me, you still kissed me.

These are just the reasons why I loved you.
These are also the reasons why you are still my best friend. (: